


the pain and the pleasure

by beepbop63



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Butt Plugs, Caring Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Soft Severus Snape, Top Harry Potter, Top Severus Snape, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29262342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepbop63/pseuds/beepbop63
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a destroyed soul, who puts his trust in his partners Harry and Severus. Harry and Severus try their best to make Draco happy, but he can only take so much and they can't keep it up forever, there's bound to be a slip up.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall & Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. The happy days

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting so be kind please. This was initially just for my entertainment but I got kinda invested and worked on it, I want to share it. There will be plenty of smut but also plenty of heart from Severus especially.

Chapter 1

Harry always invited Minerva over to the department on Tuesdays and she never came if he didn’t ask her, the dementia made it hard for her. But it was Tuesday and he had to cancel so he was making sure he had a free hour tomorrow to accommodate her visit.

“Tina!” he called from behind his desk,

“Yes, Mr Potter?” the small blonde popped her head into the large office

“What does my schedule look like tomorrow, I would like to take Professor McGonagall out to lunch”

“You are free for lunch sir, but she may have to do it during the school’s class time”

“When does she have classes?”

“She doesn’t technically have any classes anymore but she likes to sit in on them”

“Fine, would she be able to get here at 3pm for afternoon tea?”

“Should be okay.”

She walked away, making note on her notepad to remind him to call her in the morning otherwise both would forget. She reminded him of his lover, skinny, pale and blonde, he had saved her in a similar manner, she was enslaved by some dark magic practicing wizards who tested many different potions and spells on her.

He had actually gotten the assignment shortly after he rescued Draco from Malfoy manor where his father had gotten out of Azkaban and did terrible things to Draco and his mother, until she gave her life for him. The poor soul had gone through enough in his youth and just when he thought he was safe, he wasn’t. It took a lot for him to place his trust in him and Severus but now they are the only people he feels safe with and so they made sure he got a teaching position at Hogwarts so he could be with Severus.

Recently Draco had become better around his students, so Harry was able to go back to work, although he had to make sure he was home when Draco was because he was still terrified to be on his own. They had a good system in place and both Severus and Harry where positive Draco was on the road to recovery.

That night, he went home at 4:55pm, as he always did so that he would make it home 5 minutes before Draco. 5 minutes later, Draco came bursting through the door, almost elated to see him.

“Harry!” he was beaming.

“Hello dear, how was your day?” he asked as he embraced him and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“It was amazing! My fifth years came in today and each of them had told me how proud they were of me to teach an entire class without you or Severus in the room and then I had lunch with Severus in his classroom and he made a beautiful spread of sandwiches and food. And just when I thought it couldn’t get better, my second year Poppy, you know, I told you about her right?” Harry nodded as he continued to stroke Draco’s back in comfort “she finally got the courage to stand up to Tonni who tried to take her cauldron so she could say it was her potion” He sighed still beaming as he plopped himself on the couch next to Harry.

“Wow, that’s excellent gorgeous I’m proud of you too, I hope you can have more days like that”

He put his arm around Draco, soothing him because he knew when he came down from his high, he would need some comfort. Because that’s what happens, Draco has a good day and then he feels better and gets scared of that feeling because that would normally mean that something bad is going to happen.

“Would you like some tea dear?”

“Yes please.”

The water was already boiled, he did so while he waited for Draco to come home so that he wouldn’t have to be away from him for too long.

Harry walked back into the front room holding two steaming mugs of tea when he saw Draco in a ball hugging a pillow, almost about to cry. He set down the mugs on the coffee table and sat next to him rubbing reassuring circles on Draco’s back to prevent him from crying. Draco melted into Harry and he felt the stress leave Draco’s body.

“I had a panic attack” he whispered sounding ashamed

“I know, my love, it’s okay I’m here now” Harry knew he wouldn’t need the tea now.

Harry rocked him for no more than ten minutes when he began to hear soft snores from the man in his arms. He picked him up and walked up the stairs to their room and folded his exhausted body on top of the covers of the bed and pulled a blanket over his slim body, then sat in the lounge chair right next to Draco. He would stay with him for an hour before he woke him up because Draco would need to eat and get a proper night’s sleep.

Forty minutes later he hears the soft whoosh of the fireplace, Severus was home. Harry quietly got up and peaked downstairs into the front sitting room, making sure he wasn’t too far away from their bedroom.

“Good evening love” Harry whispered from the top of the stairs, indicating Draco was asleep and for the man not to make too much noise.

“Hello dear” he said very quietly, understanding his lover’s non-verbal communications. He climbed the stairs and met Harry with a loving kiss, and he rested his hand on the small of his back as they walked into their bedroom.

Harry looked at the sleeping man and then up at the tall dark-haired man who was staring lovingly at the man in the bed.

“I understand you made his day very pleasant” Harry remarks accusatorially.

“Yes, I did but I didn’t know about the fifth years until after when he told me.”

“Yes, well I know you have trouble not spoiling the boy but Poppy the second year also stood up to her bully today so it wasn’t great when I left him for a minute to get tea.”

“I apologise, I know I make your job hard sometimes, but I want him to know how much I love him”

Severus’s eyes were almost pleading Harry to forgive him for his wrong doings.

“It’s not your fault, I would probably do the same thing if I worked in the same place as him.”

The two men at the doorway loved the sleeping boy so much it hurt them to see him so weak and exhausted from his past. They had been there the entire time he was trying to escape it but no matter what it still haunted him in his mind and that was the worst part, they couldn’t just obliviate it away, they had to help him through his struggles and watch him deteriorate in order to feel better and become a working member of the wizarding world.

Severus sat on the chair Harry had previously been in and Harry took his place in his lap. As he tried to get comfortable, he felt something a bit harder than Severus’s taut muscles, he flushed as he realised and looked at his face, realising he too, was blushing.

“Really? Now?” he asked trying to sound scandalous but still keeping a very low tone.

“I can’t help it, you’re here looking all dishevelled and worried about him, it’s really, very hot” he sounded honest and sincere and just a hint conspiratorially as he eyed Harry up and down.

Harry moved slightly to ensure his thigh could get another feel of the man, realising he is only getting harder, a low noise escapes his throat as Harry moves his thigh closer to create more friction against him and the older man’s manhood. Severus squeezes Harry’s hip in warning but Harry disregards it as he knows the man too well, he will lose control very soon.

Harry catches his lips in a smothering kiss as he shucks his own pants off and straddles the larger man. He is now holding Severus’s face, so he has control of the kiss, but Severus’s hands haven’t left Harry’s hips and he is guiding him and directing him, making his hips rock against Severus’s now rock-hard penis. Harry unbuckles the man’s trousers and pulls them down with his boxers, freeing his penis which bobs right up allowing harry to rub the soft fabric of his underwear against him. Severus groans and rips Harry’s underwear off, which accidentally land on Draco’s arm in the bed, although neither of them followed the underwear’s path.

Severus’s hand explored lower and his fingers found where Harry’s ass cheeks meet, squeezing his cheeks Severus pushes his fingers into the crack allowing his fingertips to play with Harry’s rim, making him lose all control. Harry’s head tilts back and he arches into the touch, needing more. Harry’s breathing is shallow and breathy and Severus relishes in his noises. Harry moves his hands to scrunch in the jet-black hair of his lover, continuing to rub their shafts together in fast, deliberate strokes. Severus moans lightly at the pull at his scalp, closing his eyes in ecstasy, recapturing Harry’s lips he swallows a needing noise from the man’s throat.

Severus brings his hand from Harry’s hole to his mouth, breaking the kiss and pushing his finger inside his mouth. Harry takes the long finger, letting it touch the back of his throat with ease.

“Good boy,” Severus praises him.

He adds another finger for harry to wet, then puts both at the same time into his tight hole. Harry tries to keep quiet but finds it hard to keep his moan from escaping this mouth, and immediately after there is another breathy moan from behind him, Severus looks at Harry with confusion and they both look to Draco, only to find him awake and trying to get himself off.

Harry was about to come, he had Severus’s fingers in his ass, and he was watching Draco, one leg on top of the blanket, pale arm reaching behind him, into his trousers and the bold outline of his cock against them. The grey eyes looking up at them, was losing the lust harry first noticed and began to glaze over with fear, Severus seemed to notice it too because they untangled themselves and moved over to the bed quickly, Harry climbed over him to the other side of him, rubbing a soothing hand over his exposed arm. Severus sat next to him on the edge of the bed as Draco sat up, he smoothed out his hair leaving it on his shoulder to rub comforting circles and looked him in the eyes.

“good evening handsome, how did you sleep?” Severus said whilst Draco was trying to find his words still looking mortified he had been caught.

“I- I’m sorry I know I’m not supp-“ Draco started babbling, merely vomiting words, it was a habit he had formed in the Manor, apologising profusely before the dark lord could do anything to him or his family.

“Draco dear, its okay. That is merely a game we play in bed; I will not punish you unless I know you want it.”

It was melting Harry’s heart to see how Severus treats Draco, it always had. Even back in school when they were all somewhat enemies, he always took care of him, when Harry used Sectumsempra on him, he could tell just how worried Severus was, even when Severus killed Dumbledore for him, he didn’t want him to have to do that. He remembers when they first got tipped off about Malfoy Manor, it was Severus who reported it and he was on their backs for weeks to check it out and they couldn’t tell him about the swat they were planning, he almost went crazy.

Draco turned to Harry and embraced him; Harry put a hand in his hair to soothe him; his other hand rubbing Draco’s lower back. Draco started to slouch and Harry thought he was getting tired again and tried to lift him up by his shoulders, but he then pushed his head into Harry’s stomach and that’s when Harry felt the warmth of his mouth on his cock and his eyes rolled back into his head. Harry opened his eyes and looked at Severus, he looked just as bemused as he felt but Harry couldn’t turn it down, he was hard and needed to get off.

Severus took his chance to lift Draco’s ass up into the air as he was still sucking Harry off, Severus splayed Draco’s ass cheeks ad dove right in like a starving man. Harry gasped as Draco moaned around Harry’s cock. Usually it was Severus who had the filthiest mouth, but Harry knew that since his mouth was the only one not busy, he’d have to be the one to be talking.

“you’re a slut for Sev’s mouth, aren’t you? His tongue in your ass, eating you out,” Harry didn’t really enjoy it, he never liked putting Draco down even if it wasn’t really bad at all and what Draco craved.

Draco whimpered and his legs started shaking at that, so Harry grabbed his hair, encouraging him to take Harry all in and Severus grabbed his waist tightly enough to bruise, to keep his hips up for him. Harry moaned at the shift and Severus cursed, ripping his head away from Draco’s ass he ruffled through the bedside table, taking out the lube. Draco whimpered again at the loss of Severus’s mouth against his ass but found himself moaning around Harry’s dick not long later as three of Severus’s lube covered fingers got shoved in his hole searching for his prostate straight away, finding it easily like he had done it a million times before, maybe because he had. Severus was quick to start scissoring his fingers and harry could hear Draco’s muffled screams every time Severus rotated his fingers just right, crooking them up to the perfect spot inside the man. Harry almost came at the sound of Severus’s impatient groan and Draco’s whimper as he retrieved his fingers, slicking up his cock ready to enter Draco’s hardly ready hole.

They were all aware that Draco’s hole was expert at taking anything, but Severus’s cock was much too big for a quick fingering to have him ready for it, but whatever Severus says, goes and he was much too eager to fuck Draco for he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his beautiful smile since lunch.

He seemed to be taking it slow though, like he was going to be gentle with his delicate lover, he was tracing his lover’s body and the curve of his plump ass, just in the air awaiting his presence. Severus leaned down, hair tickling Harry’s stomach, whispering into Draco’s ear, musings about the thoughts he had about him throughout the day, his head bobbing up and down in controlled and thoughtless rhythm, listening Severus intently, breath hitching when he mentions how he got off to just the scent of him in the room after their lunch.

“that’s how much I fucking adore you, I worship the mere scent of you”

Severus rubbed his cock along Draco’s crack, eliciting a delicious moan from both him and Harry who was almost turning white from arousal and the need to come right down Draco’s throat.

“keep moaning like that and I’ll come down your throat so hard that it will come out the other side and Sev will have to eat me out of you so he can fuck you” Harry growled as almost a warning to be quiet. Harry tightened his grip on Draco’s now matted hair and held him down so that his dick was hitting the back of his throat and Draco was taking all of him but not moving the slightest.

Severus leaned up and over the boy so he could reach Harry, still holding Draco’s hips so tightly they were for sure bruised by now. As he did, his dick left the warmth of Draco’s crack and both Harry and Severus heard Draco try very hard to stifle the whimper that was no doubt going to escape him and, in his attempts, he swallowed over Harry’s dick which made him impossibly harder. This forced a low moan from his throat as Severus captured his lips in a smouldering kiss, swallowing the moan and reciprocating with his own moan into the kiss. Severus unlocked their lips allowing both to catch their breath and Harry to compose himself a little bit so he could hold off until after what Severus planned to do.

“Harry, I couldn’t ask for anyone better to talk like that to my baby” his voice was thick with arousal and lust.

He gave Harry another hard kiss before leaning back down, being sure not to touch Draco at all except for the feathering of kisses he gave him on his shoulder. He continued to kiss his shoulder but looked up at Harry in a silent command to let Draco’s head go, and he did. Then, without any warning, Severus rammed into Draco, balls deep hitting his prostate head on, Draco took all of him into his tight, tight hole. Draco was so dizzied that he opened his mouth, releasing Harry’s cock from his tight hold, screaming in ecstasy and lurching forward, gagging on Harry’s cock as it hit the very back of his throat. Harry loved to see him as dishevelled and almost incompetent as he was in that moment and Severus knew this and he loved to please Harry, he also very much enjoyed the sight and sounds it elicits from the boy.

Draco’s breathing took a while to return to something somewhat consistent and recaptured Harry’s cock in a warm embrace on a cold day. Severus took this as an indication to start moving so he slowly pulled out and quickly pushed back in again causing Draco’s head to ram into Harry’s stomach as he moaned which gave Harry an idea.

The next time Severus pulled out, he followed, pulling Draco almost all the way off his cock and pushing him back down in synchronisation with Severus. He noticed what Harry was doing and gave him a knowing look as he sped up the pace and watched Harry’s arm try to match the speed as his eyes rolled back into his head as his mouth made a silent ‘o’. Severus was extremely turned on by the thought that he was in complete control of Harry’s release through their lover who was going to come without even being touched.

Severus knew he was going to be able to hold on the longest, so he made the speed impossibly fast and watched Harry’s face as he came and hard by the loud ‘fuck’ that filled the room and the obscene squelching sounds Draco was making, trying to swallow it all whilst also still being forced up and down, sucking Harry through his orgasm. Draco came straight after, no doubt because of the fact Harry came and he loved nothing if not to swallow someone whole as they still pulsed, hot in his mouth. He came, untouched which was incredibly hot to Severus but what pushed him over the edge of release was Draco’s hole contracting around his cock as he came and his small moans of pleasure and exhaustion.

“that was fucking hot” Harry started to break the silence.

There was a quiet sound of agreement from the man that collapsed sideways in his lap, legs still skaing. Harry looked up at Severus who understood just as much as Harry, why they couldn’t let him sleep just yet, especially after what they just did. Smoothing out Draco’s hair, Harry bent down to pebble some kisses on his temple. Draco let out small sounds of appreciation for the comfort they always gave him after sex, but Harry had to deny him the comfort.

“Draco, darling you need to get up”

Severus placed a comforting hand on his lower back and shook him a little bit. He noticed goosebumps forming on the pale skin of the boy’s arm, so he got up to get him a sweater and some track pants. Harry also noticed he was cold so he pulled him up into his lap sideways so he could support his back with one arm like a baby. Draco pulled in a long breath and his eyes fluttered open as Harry started to rub his belly. A large smile of contentedness forms on his face and sleep threatens to take him away.

“no no no, baby please, we need to get some food into you.”

Draco groans and tucks his head into Harry’s neck, sucking a purple bruise into the soft skin. Harry pulls him off like a leech,

“I see what you’re trying to do and its not going to work, you need food my darling boy, nothing can make me love you more if you just have some of the soup I made last night”

He feels warm liquid soak his shoulder and before Harry can process what’s happening, Draco is sobbing loudly and sniffling almost like a child. Harry recognises the cry and wraps his arms around his small waist, shushing him, rubbing circles on his back with one hand and massaging his lower back with the other.

“please don’t cry you know how it hurts me to see you cry, I love you, you’re my soulmate Draco.”

Harry pulls him tighter to his chest when he doesn’t say anything and continues to sob. Severus appears in the doorway from Draco’s closet to their bedroom, clutching a pair of grey sweatpants and an emerald green sweater. A wave of fear washes over his face as he sees Draco crying, he drops the clothes and joins the two on the bed. He examines the situation and understands what is going on, he glances at Harry’s face, one of pure pain, one he feels more than Draco in the moment. He embraces both and places a kiss in Harry’s hair, as he strokes his back in comfort. He picks Draco up, who reaches for Harry, worried about being separated from him, Severus assures him and sits him on the short stool in his large walk-in wardrobe. He begins to dress the still sobbing Draco assuring him its okay, but when he tries to get his arms in the sweater he is met with a very upset Draco.

“NO it’s not okay Sev, you always say that but I know how you two feel about me, I’m a burden, I always get upset like this and you have to cheer me up! That’s why you treat me very chance you get and how Harry knew I was having a panic attack earlier-" Severus interrupts him in a much calmer tone,

“no baby, that’s love, I treat you because you deserve it and I genuinely can’t help myself, and don’t you realise? Harry cares about you so much that he is connected to you, with more than love, more than lust, more than trust or respect or pity, anything you feel, he feels ten times stonger because of how much he genuinely cares about you, Draco. When he sees you happy, he is elated and when he sees you sad, he is devastated. Right now, he’s sitting in there,” he points towards their bedroom “heartbroken because you can’t understand how much his soul is deeply in love with your soul. Do you do this type of thing often? Yes, and yet both of us are still here and feel more in love with you than ever.”

Draco’s heart breaks at the truth they have always held off on telling him. Harry and Severus thought it would be better if they didn’t tell him that because Draco would feel worse and they just wanted him to be happy, but Severus couldn’t take it anymore. It is all in his head, but the worst part is they know how much Draco loves Harry and would feel horrible for making him feel that way. It shows in the way Draco rushes into the room, tears that had dried now flowing down his cheeks again.

“I am so sorry, I am so so so sorry Harry I didn’t know please forgive me, I’m too selfish,”

“it’s okay honey, it’s not your fault you have been through too much for any witch or wizard to even comprehend let alone live through.”

“my past should be no excuse to ignore you and your feelings”

“that’s true but you have never needed to think about others and their feelings, you were never taught to, you were taught o fend for yourself and scavenge any type of coping mechanism to survive.”

They were both crying now and sharing a very tender moment, embracing each other on the bed and Severus took this as a good opportunity to sneak downstairs and heat up some soup and make toast just the way Draco likes it.

When he made his way back upstairs he could hear his two young lovers chatting about something to do with butt plugs, a conversation he was extremely eager to be a part of, but when he approached the door, they quietened and they were staring at him with innocence in their eyes as he entered.

“I’m glad to see you both happy again but I do wonder about the conversation you were having before I came in.”

“that is a private matter Severus, between the two of us.” Harry responded, patting Draco’s thigh to help comfort him. Even though he wasn’t scared of Severus, Draco was still scared of any type of confrontation.

“I thought I was a part of this relationship” Severus said only half kidding because he was more than happy with them having their own secrets.

“yes but you’re not allowed to know about surprises we’re planning for you now are you?” Severus chuckled at Harry’s retort not too sure if it was an actual surprise they were planning. He placed the tray of food on the nightstand and handed Draco a glass of water he had grabbed on his way out of the kitchen.

Draco didn’t even say anything or look to hesitate, he swallowed the entire glass in one go and not to make everything about sex, but both Harry and Severus found that extremely arousing. They glanced at each other and gave the other a smirk as Harry got up to help Severus to help feed Draco.


	2. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco wakes up after a long night and he doesnt feel too well.

The next morning, Draco woke up between his two lovers, in a Draco sandwich, which was his favourite way to sleep because it made him feel so safe. The two dark haired men sandwiching him though, were fast asleep and not moving which would make it extremely hard for him to get out of bed, but he had a strong urge to pee and it was not going to wait. Harry was on his right, which was closer to their en suite bathroom, so he carefully manoeuvred his sore body, slowly rolling on top of Harry and on to the other side of him. Draco then shuffled to the edge of the large bed and sat upright, he hissed as a small pang of pain in his ass reminded him of everything that happened the previous night. Apparently, it wasn’t enough of a reminder because when he went to stand up his legs gave out underneath him but before he reached the floor there was a strong hand clutching him under his arm. Harry shifted behind Draco, pulling him back up to a sitting position on the bed and Draco leaned into Harry like he was the only thing holding him up, which he partially was. He snaked an arm around his waist and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“good morning love, how did you sleep?” his voice thick with sleep.

“very well thank you” Draco croaked in response.

“that’s good dear,” Harry’s mouth was right next to his ear, nibbling at the lobe as his hand rubbed circles into his back.

“Harry, dear, I need to go to the toilet, but I can’t seem to walk.” Draco said quietly a small flush forming on his face in embarrassment to ask his partner to help him get to the bathroom. Harry chuckled lightly

“alright baby lets get you to the bathroom”

They stood up, Draco putting almost all his weight on Harry who could’ve easily carried him if he wanted. And soon after a succession of ‘yep’ and ‘you got it’ and ‘let me’s, they made it to standing in front of the toilet where Harry had to stand behind Draco and hold him up whist he peed.

“how romantic is this” chided Harry who seemed to find their predicament quite funny.

“it really is not” bit Draco who clearly found it humiliating.

“oh come on, you’re telling me there’s nothing the slightest bit romantic about the fact Severus fucked you so hard last night that you can’t walk now?”

“hm” Draco mused which slightly changed the air in the room “I guess it’s hot, I wouldn’t call it romantic, but I agree it’s a turn on.”

They made their way back to the bed where Severus lay still very unaware of what had happened and fast asleep.

“I’m going to go downstairs and make breakfast okay dear?” Harry said as he tucked Draco into Severus’s still very unaware arms.

“sounds divine love” Draco said, taking Harry’s hand and kissing the back of it.

Not twenty minutes later, Harry came carefully, up the stairs with an arrangement of toast and eggs, five different ways and three mugs of hot tea. Entering the room quietly, not sure if Severus had woken up yet, Harry scanned the room for Draco who was still snuggled into his lover’s arms. Harry smiled as he walked over to place the tray onto the bedside table. The noise of the tray, however quiet he intended it to be, was loud enough for Draco to be aware of Harry’s presence in the room. The boy opened his stormy grey eyes and shone them at Harry,

“why are u smiling?” he asked

“oh, I was just thinking about how gorgeous my boyfriends are and how lucky I am to have them,” he said as he leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead.

That morning they all got ready for work as usual, Draco a little bit slower than normal but that was understandable. Harry got an owl however, just as they were leaving, that there was no need for him to come into work that day, because there had been an invasion overnight, and they had caught the perpetrators, but half of the ministry was in shambles and unable to be used. So, Harry took the day off.

Later in that day, Draco wasn’t feeling well at all, he had grown pale and unable to stand up for any long periods of time. He made his way down to Snape’s office, but he missed by a couple of feet and collapsed outside. As his vision faded, he saw the large black outline of his lover rushing over to him and he felt safe before he fell into the black abyss of unconsciousness.

Snape felt so guilty for not checking in with him at least once that day, by that time he had normally checked in with him to see how his classes were going but Harry had given him a stern talking o about treating Draco too much. He paced up and down outside the hospital wing, listening to the murmurs of the school as it continued, even when his love was in the hospital wing, incapacitated. He worried his brows trying to listen to the soft voice of Madam Pomfrey inside incanting something he was not familiar with which made him ever more concerned for him. Soon she opened the door allowing him in, he rushed to Draco’s bedside picking up his hand and brushing a kiss over the back of it.

“are you okay my love?” he asked although his worry had subsided when he saw how lively and healthy looking, he was.

“I’m fine dear, you needn’t worry about me, it was just a bit of mix of dehydration and exhaustion,”

Draco gave him a look that said their previous night’s escapades, had been the reason for the latter and of course Severus understood the dehydration was from Draco’s incessant disregard of his own health. He sat down on the bed, still clasping his thin hand in his own, larger one.

“should you go home and have some rest love?” Severus brushed the strand of blonde that fell on his sweaty forehead. Draco squirmed uncomfortably at the thought of going home alone.

“um,” he played with his fingers trying to figure out what to say without saying it in front of Madam Pomfrey “Sev, I- uh, I’m not too sure…” Severus wracked his brain trying to figure out what Draco was trying to say. When he figured out, his mouth made a silent ‘o’ in understanding.

“remember, dear, Harry has the day off, he can take care of you, make sure you don’t have another spell like you did, keep you hydrated.” He could visually see Draco’s body relax as he sighed a sigh of relief before Madam Pomfrey urged in,

“it would be smart if someone was at home with him for, I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending him home alone.”

Fifteen minutes later Draco was walking to the floo that teachers used in Minerva’s office, Snape in toe.

“you know I can traverse this school on my own I don’t need your escort,” he smirked even though they both knew he appreciated the gesture. Snape scoffed and pinched his ass in response.

When they reached the headmistress’s office, Severus knocked on the door and it flung open as if it were expecting him to knock.

“ah Severus, a pleasure to see you’re well, Draco my dear I’m sorry, I feel I have burdened you with too many classes am I correct?”

“no, Minerva you’re fine, I regularly disregard hydrating myself properly, my workload is fine this incident is all my fault,” Draco rushed, and Severus didn’t like that he was blaming himself although, glad he was able to see that he was constantly dehydrating himself.

“well let’s get you on home, shall we?”

With a kiss and a whoosh Draco was gone and Severus was left in the inevitable, awkward silence after somebody floos out of the room. McGonnagal was standing there, arms folded, with a furrowed brow,

“what’s wrong Minerva?” Severus inquired

“well, we’re down a teacher now and I can’t take many classes today, I can’t quite remember why,”

“don’t worry I can cover his classes, and I might be able to take one or two of yours, I’m sure there’s someone who can cover the rest.”

And with that, Severus’ day became a whole lot busier.

When Harry realised that he hadn’t cancelled his appointment with Minerva, he went into the ministry earlier than he needed because he would need to see the state of it an whether he would need to cancel. The floo she normally came through was perfectly intact and he had asked if it was working and had been assured all the floos that weren’t working, were closed off. He spent about half an hour traversing the way he would take Minerva to his office, checking of course his office was fine, and like a hand on a watch she was perfectly on time.

“Minerva, pleasure to see you again.” Harry embraced her as he normally would.

“ah yes Harry Potter,” she seemed distracted by something, worrying her fingers and her brow trying to remember something.

“is there something wrong?” this was a semi-normal thing to happen so Harry wasn’t too concerned.

“yes, uh, there was something you needed to know. I don’t think we can have tea today Harry, something is wrong.”

“oh! Are you talking about the invasion that happened here last night? Its all perfectly fine other than many offices being ruined, mine is in tip top shape and the criminals have been charged.” He assured her.

“um, it must be… I really don’t remember I’m sorry dear, I almost forgot to come I didn’t remember I had made plans to see you today before my secretary reminded me.”

“it’s okay Minerva, that’s what secretaries are for, come.” He gave her his arm and they made their way to his office where he had already set the kettle to boil. As always, Minerva had lots of nothingness to talk about, but Harry enjoyed it, he loved hearing about how her brain works even if she wasn’t sure herself. She is the closest thing he ever had to a mother and he still looks up to her despite her dementia progressing to her sometimes forgetting her way around Hogwarts, somewhere she had spent every day of her life at for just about her whole life.

The first thing to go was where she had put her things like hairbrush and clips, but then it was her wand and cloak, it wasn’t long after, when she started struggling with spells and she hasn’t transfigured for almost 6 months. It was all quick after it all started, but Madam Pomfrey said that she will stay consistent now for a while, the deterioration should be slower as long as she continues having routine. Harry had been having tea with Mcgonagall for a long time before, but he had started to need to remind her because she couldn’t remember to go to her classes sometimes. They both looked forward to tea every week, even though sometimes they couldn’t do their normal Tuesdays. He ushered her into his office, and she plonked down on the sofa she always does.

“wow this is comfortable, I should invest in one of these.” She looked up at him in awe of the couch, he chuckled

“yes, it is quite comfortable, you do mention it every time you come in remember?”

“ah yes of course.” She looked down at the sofa and patted it straight.

He poured them both a cup of tea, milk and one sugar for Minerva and milk for himself. He placed the cups down on the saucers that she had gifted him after rings started to appear on his coffee table, from constant use. Harry sat down in the chair Severus and Draco had gotten him as an office warming a couple of years ago and got comfortable because as usual, he felt it was going to be a long afternoon tea with Minerva.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the kudos! it really helps me write more. this is a bit of a shorter chaper and all the following chapters are going to be shorter than the first one ahah but i will post the next one a bit sooner in like a week.


	3. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco is in pain. That's it. That's the whole chapter. I'm sorry. Also this is the chapter that references rape/non-con and if u have a really weak stomach theres a bit of a warning i guess

Draco appeared in the floo in their living room, with a slight smile, ready to surprise Harry.

“Harry dear!” he called out to the very quiet house. No answer. He walked to the kitchen and the dishes had been done from that morning’s breakfast but still no sign of Harry. He climbed the stairs, looking in every room on the way, to their master bedroom where he found, again, nothing.

Nothing. Nobody was home. He was home alone, he thought to himself. Those words kept replaying in his mind and he felt even more sick to his stomach and he ran downstairs to double check, nothing. He tried to get to the floo and get to somebody, but he froze at the entrance to the second living room. His legs felt weak and they started to shake, he felt his insides shaking uncontrollably and his knees buckled underneath him, he bumped his head on the corner of the wall as he fell. The full effect of a panic attack crashing over him like a treacherous wave on a calm beach. He couldn’t breathe and his heart was pounding, it was pounding hard and erratically. His head was bleeding from where it had hit the wall and there was a pounding there.

He felt stiff to his organs, the feeling was so horrible he didn’t feel like crying, although, his cheeks were already soaked and eyes leaking non-stop. Draco laboured to breathe, and it hurt, it hurt so bad to breathe he thought about stopping, just giving up, but he couldn’t, his body wouldn’t let him. He tried to get to the sofa but only managed to grab a pillow.

‘a pillow will do nothing if you don’t have the strength to stand up idiot’ he thought to himself. Millions of thoughts were racing through his head every second, but the main ones that popped up the most, were ‘is that him’ ‘how did he hunt him down like this’ ‘please don’t let me die like this’ ‘where is Harry’ ‘what did he do to Harry’, lots of thoughts about his abusers and feelings like he had in his house many years ago. Draco was genuinely terrified because he had so much to look forward to and he was feeling happy in his life, but he was going to take more away from him, he had already taken his childhood, his innocence and replaced it with fear and uncertainty. He clasped the pillow as if it were a life ring, keeping him afloat as he sank deeper and deeper into his own mind.

Draco thought about the times he would sit in his room, in a similar position, having a panic attack and lord Voldemort would break the locked door down, mad that he had locked it saying, ‘you will pay for that, you disgusting and fat pig’. Voldemort would degrade him and make him feel worthless until Draco would dissociate so much, he could hardly form a thought, that’s when he would take advantage of his vulnerable state.

Voldemort did unspeakable things and vow Draco to secrecy, so that when he would tell Lucius Draco was not satisfactory, he too, would degrade and abuse him (in a different way).

Draco’s mum was the only one who knew what was going on and there was nothing she could do, Narcissa would come in after the shouting from his father had stopped and fix up the cuts and heal the bruises. She would take extra care to see that she reclothed him and gave him clean, comfortable clothes, then helping to clean his room and bedsheets.

Draco always felt safe with her, but every time he thought of her, he thought of after they all believed it was all over and his father came back from Azkaban and snapped, killing his mother, Draco never had that safety again, until Harry and Severus. It hadn’t been long though, it was about two years since his mother died, yet only almost 6 months since he placed his love and trust in the hands of the two men who had abandoned him to fend for himself, laying on the cold, living room floor.

The bile, Draco had been supressing, came up violently and all at once, covering him and the surrounding floor, he saw the soup that had been given to him the previous night, his stomach made sure there was absolutely nothing left in there. He wept at how pathetically sick and weak he felt after vomiting up at least a litre of puke.

Draco was absolutely lost, he was exhausted and weak, yet he used all the strength left in the core of his torso to stay awake and as alert as he could be, he wasn’t going to pass out that was for sure, but he didn’t know how long he could go on for. His lungs were gasping for air, but he wasn’t, he didn’t feel the need to breathe, if only to stay awake and not use more energy to supress them, he allowed them to do their job if only the bare minimum.

He doesn’t remember when he passed out but there was definitely a difference in light coming from the windows. His body didn’t feel rested but there was new energy to feel sick again and breathe properly but also let more drops of salty sadness fall down his cheeks and onto his lips. Most importantly there was enough energy for his heart to continue racing and him to panic again and in a vicious cycle of his body not having enough energy for his basic need to survive, he slipped out of consciousness again.


End file.
